Academia

   Hello,  

I've got nothing much to say, but oh my god I got a 96% on an essay for my final year English class!!! And that's WITH a scary professor!!! Well, he's not scary, but he's intimidating and I just can never really answer any questions because I know it's likely not the answer he's looking for. Also, I'm much better at writing than speaking. I envy those who are able to form coherent sentences with their mouths because I just can't. It's like, I can have an idea in my head but I just know my mouth is going to mess it up somehow. Anyways, this is really cool! I was worried about this assignment because I decided to do something different and I, quite frankly, wrote a lot of crap that I wasn't sure would even make sense, but what the heck, I guess it did. 

He said it was SUPERB, EXEMPLARY, BRILLIANT (lol?) and that it "was among the finest assignments I have received on this topic" (what the heck)!!! That's quite the insane compliment and it means a lot coming from him because he is so knowledgeable. Academic validation feels so good but it's certainly not worth sticking around for. I don't belong in it, but I also don't belong at a stupid, soul-draining 9-5 (who does?). I want to live in a forest with my cats and maybe write a thing or two and make pies.

Well, what else is new? Not much. On Friday me and my DND group fought some critters for the first time, which was pretty silly and fun. I rolled some terrible dice though, but it's okay, my Gwen's feelings are only hurt a little. Everyone there is just so cool and I can really feel at ease around them. I love people who are passionate about the things that they like. Tonight on the bus ride home it all felt so serene. As funny as it is, there's something spiritual about sitting in a completely dark bus filled with other people and feeling so close to them even though they're all just faceless black shapes. It's dumb, but it's okay.

I have a page on my phone's notes app which I use to write down moments I find beautiful, like this one. I think it was for the purposes of writing a poem, but I don't know. Do you ever just take a night-time walk and find the way someone's porch light illuminates their little backyard so beautiful it makes you want to cry? Or like, the way someone decorated their window-sill in a building you didn't even know anyone lived in, telling the world that someone's made that space their home??? There's a tiny succulent sitting in the window-sill of my school's library basement and so someone out there has decorated it and made their space comfortable and cozy, that is just so special. 

There's something about a Sunday night that makes you so sentimental.