Gross Buses, Pretty Flowers

One thing you can do if you wanna be pretty miserable is ride four buses in the span of four hours at the crack of dawn. There I was waiting for my last bus home, phoneless and DISTRAUGHT, when I looked down and saw a little ladybug with tons of spots on my jacket which INSTANTLY REVIVED ME. (I keep reading this phrase in like Charlotte Bronte and her sisters’ books, and it makes me laugh because it’s usually a result of drinking a cup of tea. But I get it). Anyways, I didn’t know what to do because lo and behold my bus decided to appear out of thin air right at that very moment, so I put her in my bag and she came along with me, until I removed myself from the vehicle and put her in an arguably much nicer spot than where she came from. I hope I didn’t just isolate her from all of her friends and family but probably not. Good luck out there.

I've started work this past week and man, does it suck. I worked seven hours Saturday and it felt like I had lived in that garden centre for my entire life. Today when I finally sat down my leg flew off. It makes me so sad that I'm completely dead by the time I get home because I can't spend the measly five hours I have before bed doing something nice other than just lying UNMOVING. Yeah, yeah I know it's all been said before - but people absolutely were not meant to work seven to eight hours, there's no way. Four to five, or even six, is just so much more manageable. I don't think any of us are even "productive" after hour six, it's just a huge waste of time and soul. 

On a more positive note, I am grateful to work outside, and I like taking care of plants (even though my own are struggling). My favourite are the veggies, particularly the little yellow squash. And I'd feel even more sad wasting a pretty day inside. I like seeing all the very freaky (???) sparrows and the sweet doves, and there are much worse things to spend one's time doing. I like that my freckles are coming out. 

It's frustrating to spend all winter telling yourself in a few months it will all be better only to find that not much has changed. And now I have a digital footprint here to prove it. Well it isn't summer yet, but I don't want to live my life waiting for something inarticulate. 

I'm feeling kind of stuck right now so I guess there's nothing else to do but keep going through it. The other day a mystical old man gave me a dime and said it was going to be lucky, but the next day it flung out of my apron and directly into a manhole with a plop, but I figured that meant I had to make a wish.

Here, take this badge, and have a very lucky week :^)