Hey Myspace

Maybe it's the OCD talking but does anyone else feel so viscerally uncomfortable when you make a change and it all feels so wrong so you have to change it immediately to feel right again?

It could be anything. One time my bag for school broke and I decided to get it in a different colour to be sPonTaNeOuS and I felt like I just threw off the balance of the entire universe because it was green and not red like it was supposed to be. 

I was recently made aware of SpaceHey, a recreation of MySpace, and so I thought I'd doodle around and design a profile, so I did! And because I guess since I've improved at using html/css it looks a lot more cohesive/cute (?) than my blog here, and I was like geez, I guess I need to update this one, and I tried BUT I COULDN'T DO IT. I felt like an imposter. This is so stupid and weird, like who cares, right? But I don't know, I couldn't do it because I have an attachment here and it feels like home, even if things are wonky and strange looking, that suits me just fine anyways.

I don't even really like overly-cutesie things. You know what I mean, like with all the pastels and the bunnies and the bows and ugh. It doesn't feel right, it never did, AND I'm not good at it. I used to try my hardest at it, really, but someday there comes to a point when your realize, hey, I'm not like this at all and I can't try anymore.

I was only a month and a little less than two weeks old when the real MySpace came out! I suspect everyone on SpaceHey is the same. And anyways, like 5 minutes after I finished my SpaceHey profile two folks had sent me some strange (?) messages, so I think it's safe to say that I like it here the best.

Oh, also, my sister got a cat! It's hard for me to admit but I am incredibly jealous. It seems like for her she can do nothing and get everything. It makes me so sad when she won't let me see her (the cat? both?) Ever since I moved out for school I've felt like I don't belong anywhere, not at home or at my place in my university's town. I can't say I regret it, but things have changed and are getting hard to recognize. 

Another thing, I'm finished this semester! I'll be starting my summer job soon, in thirteen days. It's just something to do, otherwise I'll lose my mind for the next two months. I'll be working in a garden centre which involves taking lotsa pictures of flowers, so I'll be sure to post a ton. It'll be my last summer working there, so I think I want to have some photos to remember it by. I really hope everyone is nice.

Oh my god, today I actually bought some new plants! I'll post pictures here in a second. My beloved starfish sanseviera somehow turned to APPLESAUCE last week and I am devastated. They said it was hardy!!! I don't even think I overwatered it, but it was one of my favourites. She was shaped like a hand and I could give her a high-five. Luckily a pup survived, but I gave it to my mom because I no longer trust myself to raise it (lol). LOOK AT THIS FREAKING TINY PLANTER!!!

It gave me a good chuckle.