Scratched Guitar

I really want to practice guitar again and actually improve, but looking at it all is overwhelming. Also -- the cats have scratched the strings a ton and it sounds super wonky!!! The last time I tried to practice I flung the capo onto my laptop screen and it was such a devastation. I figured that was a sign. Have I said this before? 

Anyways, my poor, sad, and mangled laptop now permanently lies underneath all my socks in my sock drawer because I don't have it in me to look at it ever again. I think the only way I'd be able to learn now is to be taught by someone, like IN REAL LIFE (wow). Maybe one day. I know some of the basics, but I also don't really know anything. I couldn't read sheet music even back to the days of playing trumpet in high-school band -- none of it made any sense to my brain. It's ok though.

Take this first ! (this is supposed to be an exclamation mark by the way, I sorta hate this font.)

Today was really nice because I only worked for five hours, we got free samiches, AND I found a half-eaten thing of cheese pretzels in my bag that I totally thought I ate >:) But I also napped for like five or so hours. I think I needed it. Oh, and I don't understand how my hair manages to get so messed up after sleeping, I need to know how the heck I manage to move around so much. Also!!! I am no longer going to run home on my days off (okay, maybe just on Sundays), WHICH MEANS I will do *more* things. 

I'm going to hide this mess here because it just needs to be somewhere, okay? But there is a soft-spoken man with a beautiful voice and dark brown curly hair who I would probably do anything for and who has probably forgotten my name by now. Sometimes I see people online gushing about some mediocre guy they know and I’ll roll my eyes and make some comment about their dumb and boring maleness, but somewhere out in this world (and maybe still in this town) there is a man I (sorta) knew with heart-achingly stunning brown eyes and I’d secretly die to see them again. I'll probably look for those eyes in every potential partner I meet, and I'll also probably never find them. Sometimes someone will just appear in your life at random and make such a huge difference, even if they never come to know it. He inspired me to do so, so many things. I think he's just the type of person to do that to everyone. Like, I'd probably never even have made this stupid website if it weren't for him. And I can't ever say any of these things to him, but at least they'll be off my chest and somewhere safe. I remember when I first saw him I felt so drawn to him for some reason or another. At the end of the night when he said goodbye and did this little hand-wave thing, it felt like my heart was going to implode -- and that does not happen to me, EVER. Because of him, I think I do believe that people come into your life for some reason or another, and even though I barely came to know him, and will likely never see him again -- his mere existence somehow really inspired me to be passionate about the things that I love, and to sing again. So thank you :-) If I had the chance though, I'd probably try to be less of a weirdo -- BUT it's okay, I was trying, and If I was anything I was myself. Anyways.