Stupid Brain

This is a note to myself: I need to completely disregard all the crap my brain tells me when it comes to social whatevers. PLEASE!!! Lately I’ve been doing just that (while scared!!!) and I’ve been having so much fun. I wish I did this sooner! i’m frustrated that I didn’t but it’s better later than never, or something. This past year I’ve done so many new things and i’m so proud. Sometimes I think I am far behind people my age, and in some respects I am, but it really is true that everyone’s on their own path. I know this is super cheesy and ew, but it’s true, okay?

I was really scared to go to this silly thing tonight (AGAIN. How many times has this happened?) I worried about it from literally as soon as I woke up at 5, during my shift from 7-3 and YET - I still took my butt there at 7 despite my stupid brain making up crap about all the things that could go wrong. And nothing did!!! So this is a reminder to tell my brain or whatever the heck it is making me think the way I do to shut up!!! Shouldn’t it know by now that going to play board games with some nerds isn’t going to kill me? I’ll be on social interaction #99999999999 and my heart still races and my face gets red -- like just get over it already, what??? I wonder when it’ll stop, because I don’t actually think I meet too many shy older adults. Aside from my family I guess. Oh god, is it hereditary?

Anyways. I don’t know how to wear eyeshadow, but I thought I’d feel better if I felt pretty - you can barely see it because of my kinda hooded eyes, but this colour is my second favourite (aside from purple!)

I have a SUNBURN

Also, I'm dumb and I make promises to myself that I can't keep, so no I am not going to write a bunch of crap. WHO CARES. I come home from work and make dinner and clean up and that's all I can manage and it sucks. BUT it is ok, because I will be truly free in July and August and if I don't write more by then, I've probably been shot. I have a cat snuggled up in my arms right now, heeheehee.