Halloween

Hi!

Today was dumb because I skipped two of my classes for no reason and then I spent most of the day daydreaming. I don't think I heard a word my professor said, but at least I was writing things down on autopilot. Actually, this whole week was dumb and I've submitted two assignments late but at least it's alright for the second one because my professor is nice and granted us an extension. But what the heck!!! I haven't really thought about this before, but I think daydreaming and fantasizing about everything consumes most of my time and it's really weird because I'll be walking to class or doing whatever I do and i'll forget how I even got there. I think I could spend hours just sitting in one spot by myself with nothing else to distract me. Of all the coping mechanisms in the world, at least this one isn't too bad. I mean, it's not physically harmful, it's just I'm not present in the real world very much and as a result I don't have much experience in anything. I don't know if I'm missing out.

Halloween!!! Is tough. I really like it because I think dressing up is fun and there seems to be something in the air on that day. People seem more silly and relaxed. But it stresses me out because of the social obligation to DO something. Or maybe that's not actually real and it's just something I've made up in my head. I just feel some sort of extra pressure to go outside and socialize and some sort of shame if I don't. I guess it's just because I live with roommates now, and this is one of those times where they'll know that I'm not like them, like I've been exposed as an alien. The thought of them bringing over a bunch of their friends to "pre-game" makes my chest hurt. Hopefully I'll be out of the house for a few hours because my DnD group and I are going to do a spooky session :-) I guess that's one of the reasons why I like DnD, escapism is nice and getting to "test" things out around a group of people that you're comfortable with is lovely. It's such a weird thing to see all these made up conceptions about someone fall away before your eyes when you realize they're actually not like how you imagined at all. I've got to stop doing that, for their sake, and mine. You can't create a whole life time for someone you only said "hello" to!