Graduation !!?

Okay so I just finished my last exam. I'M SAD!!! I'M SO SAD!!! I don't know what I am supposed to do now. I mean I guess I just doodle around until I find a crappy job to spend for the next 4 months, but if I can't THEN WHAT :( When I go home, then what :-( I don't want to go home. I haven't cried in a very long time which is weird for me, yay. But this is a scary place to be in I think. My roommate's cat and maybe old Barbie movies later is keeping me from like freaking out. I guess I just play video games and then fall asleep and then make dinner. Good lord. I don't think I'm fit for this, I don't think I can do it. I can't exist if I don't have structure.

I'm going out with a friend tomorrow which will be a good distraction, but god I don't think I can do it. I think if it wasn't winter I'd be happier because then I could go outside and lie on the grass and just stay there for hours, but it's because I'm forced to stay inside with nothing to do or see and not many to talk to that's scaring me. 

Everyone says to just go travel the world or whatever but I haven't even done tiny things that everyone's already done by the time they're like, 16 or something and I'm not ready for what I'm supposed to be ready for.

I really need a hug.

I really, really hope things work out. I'm very lucky because they have so far, like all the way up until now, so that maybe means it'll continue to be okay. I do think everything works out eventually, sometimes.